Why are Homosexuals Committing Suicide?


I read the article about Dharun Ravi, who spied on his roommate and caught him kissing another man. When he publicized the fact, his roommate committed suicide a few days later. A court found him guilty of various crimes.

I have to wonder what is going on here. If homosexuality is perfectly normal, why would anyone be ashamed to be caught kissing another member of the same sex? Or do people who are homosexual not truly believe it is normal? When they try to convince us that it is normal, maybe they are simply trying to convince themselves.

Let me explain. I do things that are different from others. Some of them I am quite proud of, and even if I were the last man on earth doing it, I would continue doing it. If I were discovered, even if I tried to keep the act hidden, I would not be ashamed of doing it. If people ostracized or abused me or even threatened my life because of my behavior, I would feel a bit sad, but I wouldn’t stop doing the behavior, and I certainly wouldn’t commit suicide.

The reason why is because I believe the behavior is fundamentally right and good and honorable. My view doesn’t depend on what others think of me or my actions; I have made a conscious decision and that’s what I have decided is right.

I get the feeling that the suicide problem in the homosexual community is not because there are people who think it is odd or unnatural behavior, or even because some people think it is sinful behavior. Instead, I believe the reason why homosexuals tend to commit suicide when they are discovered or mocked is because they know the behavior is wrong, and have no self-control to correct their behavior to match what they believe to be right. In the end, when people point this out through ridicule, they are incapable of dealing with the cognitive dissonance and are lead to believe that only suicide can help them escape the anguish of that state of mind.

In other words, they aren’t committing suicide because of the actions of the people around them; they are committing suicide because of what they believe on the inside.

I believe we need to change those beliefs. I believe that the beliefs that the homosexual community would like to force on us are not good things, and are likely the reason why homosexuals commit suicide in the first place.

Rather than telling homosexual people they are fundamentally different than everyone else, and incapable of change, perhaps we should tell them that they are the same as everyone. What makes them different is how they choose to spend their time. If they don’t like what they do, then they can simply choose to do something different.

We can begin by eliminating the fraud that is the idea that homosexuality is genetic, or expose the fact that everyone is homosexual, or rather, that the genetic difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals is not significant. What a great lie it is that someone is destined to become something, regardless of what they choose they would like to do! If I believed I was destined to be the way I am, I would likely commit suicide as well, because life would be pointless.

In our church, we tell people that temptations are a part of life, one of the primary reasons why we are even alive. If you were worthless, then Satan wouldn’t bother tempting you to do evil since you wouldn’t matter. Since you are valuable and important, and especially when you make a conscious effort to become a righteous person, Satan is going to tempt you more strongly than ever before. This is a belief that turns something that would normally wear someone down into something that builds them up. When we separate the temptation from the individual, then the individual can begin the process of eliminating bad behaviors one by one, despite whatever temptations exist. The individuals no longer identify with the temptations. The individuals begin overcoming temptations and become masters of their own fate.

People often wonder, “What good is Christianity?” Well, here is an instance. I cannot believe a believer in Jesus Christ who believed in these doctrines would turn to suicide if they were discovered as behaving as a homosexual. I cannot believe that this set of beliefs would lead them to believe they are worthless as a human being. Quite the contrary, the beliefs will help them see how important they are to the people around them, and provide them a way to change their behavior, without giving them the sore burden of cognitive dissonance.

This is the primary reason why we encourage people who have committed gross sins to meet with the bishop. The bishop is able to communicate these doctrines, and inspire them to see themselves differently. With this paradigm shift, conquering bad behavior becomes possible.

It also teaches those who suppose they are morally superior how important it is to love, welcome, and forgive those who are morally inferior. After all, today’s homosexual could be tomorrow’s church leader. Piety is turned on its head. Pious people behave impiously because of their piety. Isn’t this what Christ did? He came to the earth not to hang around people who were righteous, but to deliver those who were not. Shouldn’t we be doing the same? Shouldn’t our goal in life be to free everyone from every behavior they wish they didn’t participate in?

The desire to mock and to ridicule would disappear if we simply applied the beliefs of Christianity in our own lives. The devastating “crime” of suicide would all but disappear when people no longer believed that they were worthless or undesirable in our society.

I think, therefore, that the ultimate reason why homosexuals are committing suicide is not as simple as people wish it was. It is not because we don’t have homosexual marriage, it is not because there are people who believe it is wrong. It is because of evil, evil in the hearts of the mocker and the mocked, and everyone in between. The solution, therefore, is to apply the Gospel of Christ until evil is erased from everyone’s hearts.

8 Responses to “Why are Homosexuals Committing Suicide?”

  1. Endless Repetition Says:

    Jonathan, of course gay youth and men are committing suicide because we think something is wrong with us. That’s never been in question. Suicide is, after all, an act of self-destruction. We aren’t what our families want; we aren’t what society wants; and we aren’t very often what we want. These are simple facts. Of the hundreds I’ve known over the years, not a single gay individual has ever indicated to me that they were thrilled when they realized what they were..The more common reaction, if the reports I’ve gathered are relevant, was horror. That was my own experience. For my part, I’m surprised gays don’t commit suicide more often. People like you don’t help matters. Your smug assertions that we somehow chose to be homosexual would be comic if they weren’t so cruel. If you really want to help us you’ll pipe down your crap and stop adding insult to injury along with your religious mumbo-jumbo.

    • Jonathan Gardner Says:

      I think you didn’t even read what I wrote.

      (1) The reason why gays are committing suicide is EXACTLY because of the sense of inevitability that people tell them they have. When we tell them that being gay makes them different from being straight, that being gay means you can’t enjoy life the same way the straights do, etc… it is the same as grabbing a black kid and saying, “You’re different from the whites, and you’ll never ever enjoy the privileges and joys that the whites experience.”

      (2) The way to end the suicides is to tell them that (a) they are fundamentally no different from the rest of us. IE, there is no gay/straight. We are all the same; (b) we are NOT defined by our temptations, and we should reject such ideas; and finally (c) you have full control over what you choose to do with what you have, EVEN THOUGH you don’t have control over what your options are.

      I NEVER asserted that people chose to be gay. That isn’t what my beliefs teach me.

      I did assert that people have the power to choose what to do with their lives. That is a fundamental fact that empowers everyone to take control of their lives.

  2. HaydenR Says:

    Actually, I became aware of my attraction towards the same sex while a devout Christian. The revelation terrified me because I knew what dire trouble I would be in if others found out, but I never did believe believe it was wrong. It was love like any heterosexual would feel for someone they love.

    Having said that, you are basically saying to fix what isn’t broken, namely one’s innate sexual orientation. You say we know it’s “wrong” and that your Christ magic will make gays straight. What a bunch of garbage! Many gays have tried to become straight and the ex gay ministries just love to market that. What they don’t tell you is how many hurt their opposite sex spouses when the marriages crumble along with their children, how many suffer depression, even kill themselves.

    You are no better than the rest who think changing homosexuals is necessary or their business. If Christians and society repented of their homophobia, which this article is full of, then maybe gays wouldn’t suffer the way they do.

    But yes, we do have the power to choose to live a lie, which you endorse. I can only shake my head. This common sense defying garbage is precisely why I refuse to enter the doors of any church if I can help it.

    Hypocritical, white washed garbage.

    • Jonathan Gardner Says:

      I think you completely missed my point, and instead, substituted what you wished I said.

      Bottom line: I don’t think like the strawman you’ve proposed. And only my message can give hope to people who are trapped by their own shameful behavior, no matter what it is. Nothing else will work, long term, to alleviate the pain of guilt and shame. I’d be happy to argue why, but it seems like you’re only interested at tilting at windmills fabricated in your mind.

  3. antago Says:

    Homosexuals feel ashamed because they are acting on an innate chemical attraction they were born with that has been shamed.

    The same amount of backlash toward a homosexual is not the same as someone who does something they don’t think others would approve of. Additionally, your comfort with yourself comes from an enormous place of privilege in and of itself.

    White people are not inherently more privileged based on their skin color. This is a separate issue, anyhow, and for a different topic.

    The long fear of what it would mean to have others see you differently in what would constitute an attraction that defines the rest of your life, and the inexplicable level of hostility, ostracism, social suicide, humiliation, levels of rejection & confusion by the public at large that will overwhelm you with stress is not the same as being caught masturbating in your bedroom. It is not the same as being caught smoking a cigarette.

    Telling homosexuals that they may not enjoy themselves and they ought to, rather, spend the rest of their lives fighting against what they are is specifically condemning them to a life of hell.

    Being able to choose to oppress your spirit is social & moral suicide. It is the suicide of one’s own joy. Yet, rather, the social paradigm wants to conduct who we should be attracted to, who not, when we should, when not, when to break-up, and more through the media & churches in order to control the flow of the hive minds. Control people’s desires, and tell them what is romantic, what is holy, what is pure, and you have an immense level of power to shape & mold people for your own benefit.

    It is called human farming.

    You don’t understand how shame is programmed into others, because you haven’t endured the level of scapegoating & abuse.

    • Jonathan Gardner Says:

      There is no scientific evidence that homosexuality is genetic. All signs point to it being environmental and even subject to the choices of the individual. I know this is a hard truth to accept, but it is what science says.

      Telling someone to not succumb to their human nature and live like animals, but rather to try to act and behave civilized despite our base desires is exactly what society needs.

      What you call human farming, and I’ve heard heterosexuals referred to as cattle or breeders, I call life. Whether you believe in God or evolution or both, reproduction and the propagation of the species is paramount above all else. I don’t have to program people to desire to reproduce. That *is* genetic, and it is the reason why we exist at all and why we, as a species, will continue to exist.

      By all accounts, homosexuality is unnatural and unproductive. Sure, animals do it, but animals also practice cannibalism and even slaughter and devour their own children. Are we to mold all of our attributes on the animals, or are we to carefully select those which are actually noble and good and remove from our character that which is base and demeaning?

      Finally, in my experience, I have never ostracized or criticized an individual who is homosexual. I speak out against the behavior, of course. But I hardly believe that I can cause as much pain as you think. I mean, am I also the reason why murderers and rapists tend to commit suicide and have bad thoughts about themselves?

  4. Christopher Johnson Fan of the fight Says:

    I felt like committing suicide tonight. Thats how i ended finding this page. I could tell you exactly why I felt that way. I wanted to commit suicide because when the people who i care so deeply for found out about me. I could almost see, taste, smell, and definitely feel pain seeping from them. And this deep almost hopeless, and helpless pain they were feeling was being administered by me. At least thats how they saw it.
    Almost as if what I did, who i am, or how i live. was some sort of direct attack on them somehow.
    Which couldn’t be further from the truth.
    Now once you’ve fallen into this trap. the only one that could save heart or your soul at this point is the person that believes that you have attacked them personally and have done so with the intent to cause them the pain they are feeling.
    whats my options?:
    A) Lets “pretend” this were true. Then I have just hurt someone. I should appoloize and ask for there forgiveness right? (wrong answers!) The fact is I didn’t intentionally do something to cause them harm. So If i did that i would be telling a lie correct? and then I’d have the burden of having to now cary that heavy lie around. (which could lead to suicide)
    B) I go the route of. “i have decided that what im doing is ok. And turn a blind eye to them. Acting as if all of the pain, and concern, that “a person i love and care about” is obviously feeling right now, is no concern to me because I’m right and there wrong (wrong answer) That would also be a lie because i do care about how they feel. and it would almost also be impossible to me. because I couldn’t see one of my loved ones feeling this way and just ignore it. (which could lead to suicide)
    C) I could try to be honest. and explain the situation. How its a misunderstanding. And hope that they will be open minded, non-judgmental , and accepting of me. which didn’t happen for me at all and I farely confident that the people who committed suicide were confronted with the same stubborn, closed minded, imatur, (and I believe) irresponsible, bull headedness that i was confronted with.
    There was nothing I could say or do to get them out of the emotional, fairy tale type of illusions that they were obviously deciding to stick with.
    No amount of logic, rational explanation and examples , or heart felt words of truth. That I scraped from the bottom of my soul, could shake the from the daze they were in.
    I could see it written all over there face they thought i was a lier. I was just making up lies. Or i was in some sort of denial.
    Its a horrible feeling to be almost screaming at the top of your lungs, your god honest truth. and trying with every fiber of your being to express the honesty and sincerity. To a loved one, that should know you better then anyone else in the world. and they just refuse to believe you. Acting as if they dont even know you. The only thing I have left in my arsenal to prove my sincerity. Appoloize for the pain that i inadvertently caused them. While simultaneously show them how deeply they have hurt me is through suicide
    P.S. I am not a homosexual. My sexuality was not the secret that i exposed. because i refused to cary it around, or pretend that i am ashamed of it.
    I revealed that i have been doing methamphetamine. I went from being looked at as a great father, a great friend, a hard worker, someone whos dependable, intelegent, and has strong morals. To a nothing, nobody, thieving, caniving, manipulative, piece of crap junkie. in an instant. The second that truth left my lips. everything ive been. all the good things i done. The good reputation​ i worked so hard to earn. Seemed to be washed away. They say “the proof of the pudding. i in the tasting.” so let me ask you what is the truth? what factors should i be judged on? By the things ive done? or by the things they imagine ive done or will do?…..
    Hears my stance on religion. I believe in “my” God and “my” jesus Christ. I don’t believe in the bible. The way i see it is man made the bible. man isn’t perfect there fore the bible can’t be perfect. Also they say that only about 20% of the information transferred between 2 people. actually come from “the words they chose” the other 80% of the info. comes from there mannerisms, hand jestures, inflection in there voice, etc. Some one could say “thank you” genuinely and “thank you” sarcastically and you would never be able to tell by how there written. I feel like some religious leaders make up there own 80% in efforts to manipulate the word and intern manipulate the people.
    And i only go to church to give a little extra praise and thank you to “my” god. I really dont care what kind of church i go to. I say ” when i close my eyes, and start preying i know who I’m talking to.” and “my” god knows my heart and what im trying to do..

    The god I know is good. loves people and loves life. So any of his words that interpreted to mean to hurt, or oppress another human being in anyway shape or form, must be a misunderstanding. Don’t you think?
    I only live my life by 3 rules. they are simple. and there’s no doubt in my mind they are true:
    1) love as many people as possible.
    2) help as many people as possible.
    3) “Try your best! not to hurt anyone else! intentionally.” (meaning that if you hurt someone by accident and it was truly unintentional. then why should you be punished for that? and 2 we’re humans. we’re not perfect and we will make mistakes. thats why you could only be asked to “try your best” not to hurt someone “intentionally”

    I told some of my friends ” I dont get my confidence from thinking im better then anyone else. My confidence comes form knowledge of the fact that nobody be is perfect. they do dirt just like i do dirt. just because their dirt might be a different flavor then mine. its still dirt none the less. and let he without sin. cast the first stone.anyone else does it. and im chucking one right back at ya. I’m going to change the world people. I promise.

    • Jonathan Gardner Says:

      First, thank God, literally, and thank you, for not committing suicide.

      I am no expert on methamphetamine, but I know there are people out there who have experienced this drug and people who know how to help people who are hooked on it. I hope you are seeking help. If there’s one reason why Jesus built a church it is so that we can find help when we need it most. Hopefully you’ll find someone you can lean on during these difficult times. I wish that were your family, but it seems like your family is already stretched beyond their limits or they have set their hearts on judgment rather than mercy and loving-kindness.

      Your gospel appears to be Jesus’ gospel, when you strip away all the “fluff”. What is most important is that we put our trust in Jesus, that we try to repent, that we accept the awesome burden of trying to be like him even though we know we can’t.

      We are all mortal, fallen men. All of us have something within us that makes us an enemy to God, whether it be homosexuality, drug abuse, or just a nasty habit of telling white lies, whatever it is, any difference between our nature and God’s is enough to keep us out of his kingdom. But remember, for some reason, Jesus laid his life down so that we may live. No matter how bad it gets, remember that God felt you were important enough to send his Only Begotten Son, and he is called the Savior because he can actually save us from ourselves.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: