On Family


Some sacred cows are so sacred that tipping them really, really makes people angry.

Here’s one that lately ticked off some internet commentators: If you’re not spending your life trying to make babies in families, you’re wasting your time on useless things.

That is, the highest ideal anyone can achieve in life is to become a father or mother, raise a large family, and see their children become fathers and mothers and continue on. Anything less than this is sub-optimal. Those who are perfectly capable of doing this but choose to do something else are thus wrong and I say even evil.

When you consider economics, you quickly learn about opportunity costs. That is, the cost of doing something is not just the cost of doing that thing, but the cost of not doing other things. IE, if I spend my money to buy a new car, then that means I didn’t spend my money buying stock. If my car wouldn’t have made as much money as the stock would’ve, then I lost money, overall.

Let’s consider morality, or the economics of morality. In moral systems, good is, well, good, and evil is the opposite, which is not good. If you are going to make the best decision, then that means you have considered all the possibilities and made the decision that has the best difference between good and evil. To do any less is really not as good, and since it is not good, you can consider it evil. Some evils aren’t that big of a deal, but some are really severe.

Let’s take life. If murder is wrong (and I hope we all agree that killing the innocent is wrong!) then not murdering is better than murdering. Is there something even better than not murdering? Why, bringing new life into this world. Under what circumstances? It shouldn’t be a surprise that the best circumstances for new life, for children, is to be raised in a healthy family with a mother and a father. Thus, if you think murder is wrong, then you also think the best thing you can do is get married, stay married, and raise kids.

Let’s suppose you’re one of those new-fangled atheist types who think you’ve figured out how the human mind and spirit works and want to impose your new value system on the world. You believe that life is good (I hope) and you also believe in evolution, survival of the fittest, as being the optimal strategy to preserve, prolong, even improve life. Then the logical conclusion here is that you should also procreate and bring your children into the world in the system that is most likely to have them procreate. And you’ll do this as often as possible. This is just basic common sense.

Society tells us that we should place our own needs above the needs of our spouse and our children and grandchildren. Society is wrong. Just a simple examination of the arguments I made should make clear why this is. In fact, our highest priority should be family. If we aren’t married, we should get married. Until then, we should support our family, which will form an essential fabric on which the married couples can fall back on. When it comes to child-rearing, it doesn’t matter if we’re not the father or mother, we can still do our best to be a good example and encourage others to get married and raise as many kids as possible.

Some people might try to argue that even though they aren’t actively supporting their family, getting married, encouraging others to get married, and having lots of kids while encouraging others to do so, that they are still “good”. Sure, not murdering is better than murder, but on the spectrum of goodness, it is about as distant from murder as it is from building families. Murder takes a life, not murdering doesn’t do anything, and raising children creates lives. But whereas a murder might take a single life, bringing even a single child into this world creates the possibility of millions and millions of people in future generations.

But ask yourself: So you pay taxes, keep the laws, and leave people alone. Maybe you’ve accumulated some degree of wealth, or done something nice for the community, like served in some charitable role in society. But ask yourself: Are those things really more important than bringing more life into this world?

As with any ideal, you strive to obtain it, getting as close as possible if it is not achievable. It is in the striving that we grow, not necessarily the obtaining of the goal.





One Response to “On Family”

  1. Jason Gardner Says:

    Getting to the truth here….

    Any society that does not place a value on a young mother and child is a society that is about to be replaced by a society that does. There is a solid reason that every long lasting society worships some version of the Madonna and child.

    Quick example: The reason feminism is wrong has nothing really to do with morals/religion/whatever. It has a practical reason for being wrong.

    We see that in societies where women have agency the women do three things:

    1) They stop having children (birth rate immediately goes below replacement.) Seriously, look at the fertility rate of any white, western country and you will notice a dip from around 4 per women to less that 2 that happens after “women’s liberation” in the 1960s.

    2) They vote to destabilize the country. (e.g. Invite other males in. “Refugee Welcome” signs are not held by high status men. They are held by women.)

    3) Vote for society to be their husband in the form of the welfare state. By voting for the welfare state women get the benefit of a husband without any of the pesky responsibility. This is very attractive, as it would be if men could vote for free sex with none of the annoying commitment parts.

    This is not sustainable.

    Any society that practices it might see some very short term benefits but long term, they’re screwed. (Equivalent to putting money on the credit card.)

    We see this with western societies. We are being replaced by our more “repressive/regressive” foes in real time. We don’t have enough children and so we will vanish.

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