By: Frosty E Hardison
I have developed a short list of principles that you MUST support if you are a liberal. If there is just one you do not agree with – then you are not as liberal as you might think. In fact you might want to reconsider that donation to the DNC and ACLU- if you don’t agree with them all.
1. You have to be against capital punishment for repeat offenders, but support the murder of an innocent child through abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that it’s alright for your kids to have sex in your home or wherever they choose to – without your permission and if they get pregnant at 12, it’s ok for them to seek an abortion without your knowledge or consent.
3. You have to believe that the state knows more about parenting than you do, can do a better job at it and therefore can take your kids away at the whim of your neighbor and put them into foster care where they are 80% more likely to be beaten, sexually abused and murdered.
4. You have to believe that every pagan thing is about freedom of expression and that everything Christian is just another religious zealot believing in outdated myths and legends.
5. You have to believe that funding the Palestinians, Hezbollah and Hamas, so they can buy weapons “to defend themselves”, is the only way to peace in the middle east.
6. You have to be against the building of the third Temple in Jerusalem because it will give credibility to Jewish claims to the land.
7. You have to believe that you are smarter than the natural law of thermodynamics and entropy; that you are the descendant of an ape and that at some point your species came from some scum sucking primordial ooze.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than nuclear weapons technology in the hands of the Chinese, Iranians and North Korean communists.
10. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
11. You have to believe that global temperatures are more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs than by scientifically documented cyclical changes in the sun and earth’s climate.
12. You have to believe that gender roles are offensive, discriminatory and artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
13. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
14. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
15. You have to believe that sportsmen and hunters don’t care about nature or protecting the pristine environment they enjoy but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
16. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something right.
17. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.
18. You have to believe that the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
19. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
20. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Alexander Graham Bell.
21. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas, government forms for services printed in every language and special treatment for illegal immigrants and minorities are not.
22. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is a normal working class woman and is a very nice person.
23. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
24. You have to believe that conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
25. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, public nudity and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
26. You have to believe that illegal funding by the Chinese, and other foreign governments, of the Democratic Party is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
27. You have to believe that it’s okay to give federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it’s not okay to have a Christmas tree displayed in their office or even their personal cubical or for them to say “Merry Christmas.”
28. You have to believe that a mandatory court ordered anger management class, specializing in the parenting of teenagers, can be taught by a teacher that has gone to school for years but has never had a child of their own.
29. You have to believe that the government is your friend, that the Federal Reserve Bank is a part of the Federal Government and that the dollar will always be the world’s most stable reserve currency even though the U.S. is now the largest debtor nation in the world, we owe over 74 trillion dollars to other countries and our currency is no longer based on tangible assets such as gold, silver or copper.
30. You have to believe that there is a finite amount of oil in this world and that we have discovered every single deposit there is and that that fact alone is the reason a barrel of oil is trading at $90 – $140 a barrel.
31. You have to believe that a diploma or degree can be a substitute for intelligence and common sense.
32. You have to believe that this message is part of a vast right wing CONSPIRACY.
God help us all.
Frosty E. Hardison is a graduate of Colorado Technical University with a degree in Business Administration. An MBA honors student with a 3.83 GPA, Frosty is most recognized for standing up against the Al Gore film “An Inconvenient Truth” being shown as a stand alone “science film” in his daughter’s science class in January 2007. He specializes in data research and analysis as well as work flow/production efficiency. For questions, see his website.